badassmccall:

if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances

Sunday Apr 20 @ 10:40pm
toni-tan:

Ok but we’re forgetting the real holiday here

toni-tan:

Ok but we’re forgetting the real holiday here

Sunday Apr 20 @ 10:39pm

magfreak:

Calling out her boyfriend’s sexism in front of an audience—four for you Emma Stone ;)

Sunday Apr 20 @ 10:36pm

Okay time to translate

Sunday Apr 20 @ 10:17pm

reallyreallyreallytrying:

medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later

Sunday Apr 20 @ 10:16pm
Tink is helping

Tink is helping

Sunday Apr 20 @ 09:05pm
Sunday Apr 20 @ 09:05pm

runningoffthereeses:

well, thats enough internet for today

Sunday Apr 20 @ 09:04pm

I turned my phone back on please yell at me

Sunday Apr 20 @ 09:02pm

I’m gonna turn my phone off for a bit to actually make myself be productive

Sunday Apr 20 @ 08:07pm
twitch-the-tiny:

All bow to Her Highness the Bird Princess

twitch-the-tiny:

All bow to Her Highness the Bird Princess

Sunday Apr 20 @ 08:03pm
yonceallonhismouthlikepizza:

Happy Easter Everyone

yonceallonhismouthlikepizza:

Happy Easter Everyone

Sunday Apr 20 @ 07:40pm

molebucks:

lovely-dna:

molebucks:

treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me

no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry

*4-second-long fart noise*

Sunday Apr 20 @ 07:39pm

Sunday Apr 20 @ 07:38pm

This field normally has corn, now it’s covered in these flowers!

Sunday Apr 20 @ 04:59pm
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